The Development Of An Intimate Relationship

1538 words - 7 pages

“Most of our lives consist of socializing with others, beginning new relationships, and strengthening old ones. Love is all around us, embodied in three main categories. Each of these is experienced in a different way; each of these is approached in a different way (Lemon2x).” However, all of them share one common quality- they are not planned, unpredicted, and developed overtime. In addition, an intimate relationship is harder to develop. “Intimacy generally refers to the feeling of being in a close personal association and belonging together. It is a familiar and very close affective connection with another as a result of a bond that is formed through knowledge and experience of the other. Genuine intimacy in human relationships requires dialogue, transparency, vulnerability, and reciprocity (Wikipedia). A lot of people think intimacy is all about sex. Intimacy is connecting with someone of the same or different sex on levels that ignite sexual interactions. There are many possible reasons why some people are attracted to each other and form relationships. Some of these reasons are personality, physical looks, things in common, and differences. These three things are what a relationship is based upon, besides trust and other things such as attraction.
Duck's theory of filtering expresses that as humans we use series of filters to evaluate how close we want to be with someone. Duck's theory revolves around attraction and the four filters or cues that include: sociological, pre-interaction, interaction and cognitive cues. Sociological cue is that limitation of meeting people due to where we live or work. For instance, we hardly ever meet some of the people we befriend on social sites. In addition, people that work in corporate settings will rarely have a social life, while most of them have no life at all outside of their place of work. Pre-interaction is when we get information about a person even before an interaction or any communication process. We can decide whether to include or omit people whom we want to have friendships with or any other relationship. Interactive is when we interact with other people, we can evaluate and reach a conclusion on whether to include or exclude a person from a relationship. People are evaluated on the basis of their character and also the extent to which we think will match ours. When a person reaches this level we tend to sustain a relationship with that person, this is cognitive cue. Personally, I determine whether someone is unattractive firstly by their appearance. Appearance consists of how someone presents themselves to others. Next, personality and ability to adapt to the environment is essential. Morals, beliefs, and attitude are also considered when I classify the attractiveness of a person. Duck's theory, for the most part, makes sense to me. I can’t say that I have eliminated someone using a sociological or pre-interaction cue, but I have reconsidered the behavior of someone based on the fluidity...

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